It's just one of those days

Dear Stranger,

I know this is random but, I can't help it. It's happening again. This sudden loneliness kills.

I miss you.

Don't get me wrong though. I'm over you now. It's just that, sometimes, memories trigger. My mood changes rapidly. I am trying to distract myself everyday. I watch TV, I talk to my friends, I search everything I could online, I eat, and I sometimes go out. The only thing I could successfully do of not missing you is sleeping. Sleep is my best escape. But sometimes, yourself appears. And it's painful because you look happy. We look happy. That happiness as if we're still together. I sometimes wish not to wake up. I didn't want it to end.

You were once my bestfriend. And to tell you the truth, no one, NO ONE can still replace you. I miss those random moments when we just watch DVD in your place but ended up cuddling and talking about random things. I didn't care about how I look or what I was wearing. We were so happy. And then we got bored, we ended up walking along the streets because we were fiending for some chicken-intestines-on-a-stick. I miss those times.

I can't tell you right now all moments I do miss. I might take a week of writing because it's a long list. It's so depressing because I have no one to tell my lame jokes anymore. I have no one to tell how was my day or how bad the traffic was. I have no one to tell how guys wanted to have one night stand with me and how much of a dick they were. I have no one to tell random stories, stories that are nonsense but you won't mind me to rant anyway. You just listen, you never judge. I have no one to tell how I survived a week without internet and how I survived in a bad fever. I have no one to tell how I ripped my floor because I was hella mad and how much I regretted it because my room looks ugly now. I have no one to tell the sincerest words in the world, I love you.

I moved on. I just miss a very special friend.

I don't know how will I approach you in the future (just in case we accidentally meet).

I'm sure that'll be so awkward.

Love always,

C